As parents we take enormous pride in our children. Occasionally that pride swells over into a competitive edge. We are pleased if our child rolls over, crawls or talks before his peers. We worry if they hit developmental milestones late. We occasionally view it as reinforcement of our good parenting skills when they thrive.
We can’t help it. There are so few external validations of our success as parents that we take it where we can get it. Sometimes we are so proud of our off-spring or our own parenting skills that we brag or probe others on their own child’s development, looking for affirmation that we are doing a good job.
There is a rampant sense of comparison: “Can your child write her name? Is she reading? Did she pass her swim test?” These comparisons often leaving us feeling worse about our own child or irritated at the other parent for rubbing their child’s accomplishments in our face.
We do not need to suffer silently. Our friend Jill has a great technique whenever another parent is bragging about their child. She piles on the praise herself. If a friend extols how her daughter tested in the top percentile, Jill will gush, “She is so smart. I remember she knew her letters before she was two.” Often other parents just want reinforcement of their children’s accomplishments.
Do you have any other horror stories about competition between parents or tips for handling these situations?
One Comment
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