Comments on: Stop me Before I Discipline Another Person’s Child

By: Christine

Christine — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 22:48:45 +0000

The way I look at it is: what would I have felt if I was the mom of the naughty boy? The answer in this case? I would have been GRATEFUL that you said something. I am not, and will not, always be there when my child does something wrong. I believe it takes more than one or 2 people (“a village”) to raise a child. It’s been that way throughout most of human history…. I actually welcome other parents’ input into my child’s life, as long as it’s constructive (and reprimands can certainly be constructive). I once yelled when I saw a 5 year old run across a busy street. Just gut reaction, I was frightened for his safety. I apologized to his mom for freaking out (she was unloading groceries when he ran away) but she actually thanked me for catching him! If we’re moved by selfless motives, we’re usually on the right track….

By: Tess

Tess — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 15:01:57 +0000

I think you did the right thing, given the circumstances. Plus, you handled it much like a teacher would. You weren’t physical. You weren’t yelling. And it was a safety issue. A couple of years ago, when I was pregnant with my second and was with my then-2-year-old at the public pool, two 8-year-olds were taking buckets of dirt from a nearby field and dumping them into the 1-2 foot baby pool, where all the smaller kids have their hands on the ground, mouths in the water, etc. The lifeguard was doing nothing, and in my nicest mommy voice, I said, “hey guys, you shouldn’t do that… the babies might end up eating the dirt and they can get very sick. ” The kids looked me in the eye, turned around and proceeded to keep doing it. At that point, I went to the lifeguard and asked him to step in. My sister, a grade-school teacher, was with me and said I should stay out of it. I disagree. At that point, if my baby or someone else’s gets cocksackie from the dirt, it’s my problem. Not to mention the fact that these 8 year old’s parents should have been watching them and were no where to be found. I also think it’s very telling that those kids were completely unfazed by my light reprimand. When I was that age, if a stranger every had to say something like that to me, I would have been so embarrassed I would have ran to my mother and hid the rest of the day.
In short… you did good.

By: Cindy

Cindy — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 14:40:05 +0000

ya know, I think it is ok for a child to realize some actions make people mad and that intentionally hurting people is one of those things. Maybe it would have been more socially appropriate to get a school authority figure but would the child have remember a don’t do that 15 min later from some one who wasn’t there? I don’t really think so. It seems crazy to me that people are so terrified of letting their kid think that something they did was wrong but guess what folks, intentionally hurting someone IS wrong, do you really want your kid to learn there are no consequences? Maybe the mother would have flipped out but you didn’t scream/ emotionally abuse the child you didn’t touch him and hopefully he learned that you have to think about things before you toss someone out of a tree. What if she had landed wrong and broke her neck? I think a little fear from consequences is a wonderful thing it is nature taking over mama bears protect their young no matter how young the perpetrator and since you didn’t maul the boy I think you did quite well