Comments on: Playdate Ettiquette http://www.mymommymanners.com/blog/playgroups-and-play-dates/playdate-ettiquette/ Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:34:13 +0000 hourly 1 By: Dotcom http://www.mymommymanners.com/blog/playgroups-and-play-dates/playdate-ettiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-368 Dotcom Fri, 15 Jul 2011 13:40:03 +0000 http://www.mymommymanners.com/blog/?p=539#comment-368 ^ ITA. Every family is different. If the playgroup is HUGE there's no possible way you can force your child (or other folks' kids) to follow everyone's rules. I don't care how you ask (nice or not) it's ridiculous to expect that of others. If you have a small group situation (one or two kids) and toddlers, I'd understand a little more, but all kids learn at one time or another that families are different. ^ ITA. Every family is different. If the playgroup is HUGE there’s no possible way you can force your child (or other folks’ kids) to follow everyone’s rules. I don’t care how you ask (nice or not) it’s ridiculous to expect that of others. If you have a small group situation (one or two kids) and toddlers, I’d understand a little more, but all kids learn at one time or another that families are different.

]]> By: Hannah http://www.mymommymanners.com/blog/playgroups-and-play-dates/playdate-ettiquette/comment-page-1/#comment-230 Hannah Mon, 26 Apr 2010 16:47:27 +0000 http://www.mymommymanners.com/blog/?p=539#comment-230 My children have simply gotten use to seeing other kids with ice cream when they are not going to be having any... They don't get upset about that because I have made it clear that sometimes that happens. Different parents, different rules... Different mealtimes. Different bedtimes. Some kids have more allowance to buy more toys. Some kids do more chores than they do or less. They just have to get use to it. And they have. They don't argue or get upset. If they do get upset and become a public spectacle, that is a one way ticket back to our house where they might be in bed early (because usually sleep is the real issue) or they have to have a talk with us about what happened. I have also sometimes told another parent that my child is allowed to do something (like play with a stick) if they do it far away from others. If the stick causes anyone a near injury then of course it goes away....but I expect other parents to be able to explain the same thing to them that I do to mine. We put a lot of hard work into the process of talking this stuff out with the kids over and over and over. They didn't always understand but we talked about it until they did. I can also explain it to other kids. Once, a little girl was crying and sad that Scarlet got to buy a toy at the store that she could not get. I got down on my knees and looked her in the eye and explain that Scarlet had an allowance she was using to buy her toy and that maybe she could talk to her mommy about how she might save us the money over time to get a special toy... or maybe she had something at home that was almost the same. We ended up having a nice conversation and Scarlet let the little girl play with her toy for a few minutes before we left. Most parents appreciate the extra input from other adults... especially if they notice you are backing up their master plan.... and most kids respond more when they hear it from more than one adult... My children have simply gotten use to seeing other kids with ice cream when they are not going to be having any… They don’t get upset about that because I have made it clear that sometimes that happens. Different parents, different rules… Different mealtimes. Different bedtimes. Some kids have more allowance to buy more toys. Some kids do more chores than they do or less. They just have to get use to it. And they have. They don’t argue or get upset.

If they do get upset and become a public spectacle, that is a one way ticket back to our house where they might be in bed early (because usually sleep is the real issue) or they have to have a talk with us about what happened.

I have also sometimes told another parent that my child is allowed to do something (like play with a stick) if they do it far away from others. If the stick causes anyone a near injury then of course it goes away….but I expect other parents to be able to explain the same thing to them that I do to mine.

We put a lot of hard work into the process of talking this stuff out with the kids over and over and over. They didn’t always understand but we talked about it until they did. I can also explain it to other kids.

Once, a little girl was crying and sad that Scarlet got to buy a toy at the store that she could not get. I got down on my knees and looked her in the eye and explain that Scarlet had an allowance she was using to buy her toy and that maybe she could talk to her mommy about how she might save us the money over time to get a special toy… or maybe she had something at home that was almost the same. We ended up having a nice conversation and Scarlet let the little girl play with her toy for a few minutes before we left.

Most parents appreciate the extra input from other adults… especially if they notice you are backing up their master plan…. and most kids respond more when they hear it from more than one adult…

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