The Wall Street Journal’s blog The Juggle posted what I initially thought was going to be a silly article, “Outsourcing Toothbrushing and Other Parenting Tasks.”
Of course parents who work outside of the house have to rely on nannies or daycare staff to oversee the care of their kids, and that includes hygiene. I get that toothbrushing could be a germophobe parent’s worst nightmare, and that maybe toothbrushes at a daycare get mixed up sometimes and you do have kids spitting near each other. Grossness noted. But I suppose I don’t see the difference between that and changing diapers, blowing runny noses and generally ensuring one kid doesn’t hack all over another kid.
What struck me about this piece was not the article itself, but the comments readers posted about it. It went from agreement or disagreement about the daycare toothbrushing to a more heated discussion about working moms and “missing those small moments” of their kids’ upbringing. It seems like there’s always a SAHM in the crowd who feels compelled to say that being home with your children is best, etc. Then that always leads to working moms feeling like they have to justify their lifestyles. Not all working moms want to be working away from home; especially in this economy, they are simply doing what needs to be done for their family.
It always goes back to the basic question: why can’t moms simply support each other’s choices? Why do we feel the need to try to change another mom’s opinion to match our own? Do we really want a society where everyone thinks and acts exactly the way we do? We have our own children to parent. Let’s let everyone else parent their kids the way they want to.
What do you think?
4 Comments
we are sooo lucky to live in a free country that allows personal choices. live and let live. there is never only one way to do anything.
We (myself included) can be quick to judge others in order to make us feel better about our own choices. Aren’t we all doing the best we can? Whether it’s breast feeding, co-sleeping, etc, we all have choices to make. And we all do what is best for us and our kids. I try so hard to remember this when I am about to judge someone else. Then I think about how hurt my feelings would be if someone else were judging me on my parenting skills because I am giving it all that I’ve got.
Of course I think my way is the best way or I wouldn’t do it I’ll admit as a SHAM I get jealous of moms who have a bit more of a life than I do I wish I were still going to school or working sometimes. I made a lot of sacrifices to stay home both personal and financial we live very frugally so that I will be the one to raise our daughter maybe because we live on so little or maybe because I don’t always want to be a SHAM in an argument I tend to think of most people’s reasons as selfish or just excuses but that is only if some one gets me all riled up because while I am able to scrimp and save I know it is just not possible for many folks and while I can mostly shrug off the feeling of isolation that comes with saying goo goo ga ga all day every day I know many people are not able. I believe if my mental health were ever at stake I would go back to work part time because it is not just important to be there you have to be happily there most of the time or you may do more harm than good
I SO agree! I don’t want another mom judging my choice to stay at home with my daughter so what gives me the right to think I can judge a mom who works outside the home (by choice or necessity).