Comments on: No shame in what you don’t know

By: lauren

lauren — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:19:53 +0000

i used to be one of those moms who would stare at the tantrum-ing child in the mall and thank my lucky stars my child didn’t do that. but then i had a second child and my world change… i once saw a neighbor’s child on the floor of a store and she was kneeling down and talking calmly to him, and i judged, i will admit, thinking this woman has got to take that kid and whip his butt into shape. not sure if i could have been that calm. but later when i had my second, we were out and his first public tantrum hit and i panicked and tried to get us the hell out of there asap! i guess we can all learn from each other- next time around i conjured up that image of my neighbor sitting on the floor at target with her wailing child and took a cue from her- after all she has 5 kids and must have some experience. it took a few tries to learn the right “diversion” and now i like to think we can pretty much just avoid it happening all together in the first place. it definitely was trial and error and like i said, when you don’t have that experience from your first child- you just don’t think it can ever happen to you.

By: Brandy

Brandy — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 13:54:15 +0000

Yay for you! I have four children of my own and I will tell you that in my experience this stuff never changes. Rest assured that most of those parents were not as judgmental as you may think. I tend to treat other parents the way I do my children – they have to learn. And while I’m sure my weak, reassuring smile comes off as patronizing or condescending, it’s not meant that way. I’m sure there is more understanding in those eyes than you realize. Because WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE! Breathe Mama. You’re doing a good job. And you are doing the best with what you have. And unfortunately what you had at that moment was a screaming, willful toddler. Be kind to yourself.

By: nina

nina — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 13:01:18 +0000

I hope that amongst those parents who were judgmental, there were also those who were thinking, “Yeah, I’ve been there. I feel for ya’, lady.”—because most of us have been there…or will be one day. Your post is a good reminder of that.

By: Christina

Christina — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 19:40:44 +0000

You should definitely give yourself a break! It seems like you did exactly what you should have done. Maybe some of the other parents wanted to offer a word of encouragement but didn’t know how without sounding intrusive or patronizing. As for those parents who were being judgmental, to heck with them, right? It’s hard to believe their kids have never acted out. Likely they have, but those parents can’t see it in their own children. I say good for you for stepping up and taking your child off the stage after he wouldn’t listen!