My Purse is NOT a Toy!

In the changing room after swimming, I put my purse down on the bench to help my 4 year old get his clothing on. As I’m working his buttons, I see a little girl who is probably around 18 months waddle over and start looking through my purse.

In a very gentle and kind voice, I ask the little girl if it looks like her mommy’s purse. Smiling back at me, she dumps the purse and all its contents on the floor. Picking up the splayed items, including my iPhone which has landed in a puddle, I suggest that her mom might have a more fun toy for her to play with and encourage her to find her mother.

But she wants my purse. She tries grabbing, but can’t reach it now that I’ve securely fastened it over my arm. My own kids are vying for my attention, so I turn to focus on them at which point the little girl erupts in screams. “It’s mine! It’s mine.” As I look at her and struggle to remember how I handled this stuff when my own children were that age, her mother suddenly appears on the scene and demands “What did you do to my daughter?”

“Well, hello to you too,” I think, but before I can get a word out, the little girl starts hysterically sobbing, “It’s mine, it’s mine.”

“I think she wants my purse,” I start to explain but am cut off mid-sentence with “What’s wrong with you? Can’t you see she’s only 1?” Again, before I could answer she turns to comfort her daughter with the passive aggressive, “What did that mean woman do to you? Some people…” as she left in a huff.

My children, curious about a stranger yelling at me, asked what happened. Instead of venting that the other woman was mad that I would not let her child play with my purse, I decided to try to teach empathy.

“Why do you think that woman yelled at me?”

“Maybe she wanted the gum in your purse?” my four year old offered. “Maybe she saw her little girl crying and thought you hurt her,” my six year old chimed in. “Maybe she just had a bad day and didn’t know what to do,” I said.

Driving home, I was struck by how much our kids look to our behavior to see how to handle situations. As angry and hurt as I felt by that unnecessary attack, I was proud that my kids had seen me weather mean words and not retaliate. It is my sincere hope that they will follow that example if someone in their life says unkind things to them.