This morning the Today Show aired a great segment called “Mommy Meanest? The Dark Side of Mom Blogs” which shed light on the criticism and cattiness we talk about here at Mommy Manners.
This segment discussed the judgmental zingers moms shoot at other moms online, like:
- “Those who don’t vaccinate deserve to have their children taken away.”
- “Stop taking care of your husband’s issues and get a real job.”
- “You breastfeed your 18-month-old? That’s weird!”
Jen Singer, of www.mommasaid.net, shared her own experience of mommy cyberbullying on her blog, adding that “it’s like high school all over again.” Amen, sister!
Ann Curry then interviewed Isabel Kallman of www.alphamom.com and Susan Getgood of www.blogwithintegrity.com, who chimed in on the name-calling, finger-pointing and “out-and-out meanness” among moms online.
I’m not surprised. First of all, look what’s happening around us now. There’s a whole culture of bad manners, disrespect and judgment everywhere you look: politics (that could be a whole separate discussion!), the media (hordes of reality shows with people screaming insults, manipulating each other and backstabbing to crawl their way to the top) and yes, parenthood (competitiveness, self-doubt and second-guessing all make for moms on the edge, ready to pounce).
So it’s pretty easy to criticize each other on a mom blog. You say your thing and you never see the recipient or her physical reaction. What amazes me the most are the snide, judgmental, snarky comments we hurl at each other in person.
Are we destined to continue the cycle from high school? Will mean girls become mean moms who will have mean daughters who will become mean girls, and so on…? Are we so far gone that we can’t stop the insult machine?
On the Today Show segment, one helpful phrase that was repeated was, “attack the idea, not the person.” I love that. I wonder if, as women, we are capable of doing this. Maybe we let our insecurities and emotions get in the way, and we’re unable to separate the person from the issue.
I’d love to hear what you have to say about this juicy topic!
3 Comments
I thought that that segment on the Today show was terrible. Telling moms to have manners is a cover up for telling women that they should be pleasant and friendly all the time. Sometimes there are real issues that require real debate and that can get heated. So what? The idea of mommy manners just seems like an etiquette lesson from the 1950s. Who decides what manners are appropriate anyway? Usually rich white people. “Manners” are not the issue or the problem.
Everyone has to learn how to deal with bullies in real life and on-line. I love the fact that you can sue someone for slander or libel. Teaching your children how to deal with bullies is one of the most important things you can do for them, and it goes without saying that you have to make sure they don’t become bullies themselves.
I think that this site is good at throwing around ideas without attacking anyone’s character.