Some grandparents believe it is their job to spoil our children. They bring gifts at every visit, serve cookies and ice cream at every meal and much like our toddlers, do not like to be told NO. As the parent, it is our job to set limits, make sure our children enjoy a balanced diet and teach them reasonable expectations with gifts.
Sometimes these two roles can crash into conflict. One spill it poster reveals that “My mother in law brings my kids new toys every week. I appreciate the thought, but hate the clutter.”
So what’s a parent to do? Our friends and readers offer some great ideas:
• If the in-laws buy them toys, the toys stay at their house. When the collection gets overwhelming, they will probably slow down on the purchases
• Have them keep the kids overnight, so they can reap the rewards of their day of over-indulging. One friend noted, “After feeding my son sugar all day, and then trying to get him to bed, they remembered what it was like having kids and had a little more respect for my rules, whether they are at my house, or we are at theirs.”
• Gently tell the grandparents that you want to keep the focus on time with them not material processions. You might say something like “I’ve noticed with (insert child’s name) that when I talk about grandma and grandpa, he always talks about the great stuff you give him. This makes me sad because real gift is time with you. I’m wondering if you’d be willing to go gift free for a little while to put focus back on time with you which is really the gift.”
If you have a similar situation to vent about or ideas to share, please post a comment.
Please don’t spoil my child
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One Comment
Every time my 16 month old spends time with my MIL, he comes back to me a spoiled and cranky child. One of the biggest problems I had with her was that she would never let him take a nap. I gave her explicit instructions to leave him in his crib while I ran a ten minute errand and she just couldn’t do it. We had been through this situation several times before so she knew that she was NOT TO TAKE HIM OUT OF HIS CRIB. Or even go upstairs for that matter. And I was literally just going around the corner. She just couldn’t resist. And when she is around him, she entertains him every minute. I understand she is having fun, but he needs some down time. He needs time to toddle around and explore his environment without an adult picking him up. I thought all of this was difficult before, but now I am getting divorced so when my son is around my MIL, I won’t be there to tone down her enthusiasm. At least she lives across the country so he won’t see her TOO often.