Most of the parents I meet value honesty and integrity and teach these same values to their children. As a result, I am always somewhat taken aback other parents do not live up to what I consider to be basic moral standards.
I recently had one such awkward experience selling a used car seat via my email moms group. I’ve sold many toys, clothes and used baby apparatus via this channel and always encountered lovely parents. I assumed the same would be true when I listed our three year old Britax Marathon for $75 – a steal compared to the $280 retail price.
Another parent emailed immediately and asked about price and color. She quickly emailed back that she would take it and planned to come pick it up at 3 p.m. I sent directions and made sure I was home at the appointed hour. When she didn’t show up, I checked my email and noticed a message sent a few minutes before noting that she did not have my address. I resent my address and phone number and suggested we reschedule as I had to pick up my daughter from school. When I arrived home at 4 p.m., my husband told me that the woman stopped by to pick up the car seat, but told him we had agreed to $60, not $75. He was not privy to our negotiation as I intended to be there when she came by, so she gave him $60 and left with the carseat.
Perhaps I am totally over-reacting, but I felt her behavior was completely inappropriate. First of all, $75 is a screaming deal. Second, if she had an issue with the price, she should not have agreed to the price via email. Third, and most disturbing, I felt that she totally took advantage of the situation by showing up when I wasn’t home and changing the terms with my husband who was not privy to our negotiation.
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like once you give your word, you stick to it. Maybe she sees it differently – her word doesn’t matter so long as she gets a better deal for herself. I come from such a different mindset that I cannot image doing that to anyone.
Still, it bothered me. A lot.
So I took action. I politely emailed her, requesting that she either send a check for the remaining $15 or allow me to pick it up and refund her money. She in turn replied that I lived in a really nice house and shouldn’t be so petty. On one hand, she’s right. $15 is not a lot of money in the scheme of things, but honesty and integrity are priceless and clearly do not seem to matter to her.
So, as parents do we fight for our values to teach our kids to stand up for what is right, or do we just teach them that some people are dishonest and will take advantage of you if given the opportunity? I would love your input. Thanks!
2 Comments
I’m not saying that her method of saving money is appropriate, but think what might be motivating her. Maybe $15 is a lot of money to her. Maybe it’s groceries or much needed clothes for her child. She clearly lied about the price, and she has to live with herself and her tactics. It is only $15, and you don’t have to do any more business with her in the future. We can teach our children the impact of our actions on others and how you felt used and betrayed by this woman’s actions, and that sometimes people are unethical creeps. We can also teach them how we can let things go and move on. I can think of a lot of bigger things I would want to demonstrate fighting for my values on.
It’s appalling and ridiculous hat she did this to you, I’m always amazed by folks like this. That said, it probably isn’t worth your energy to deal w/her further. what would be appropriate, I think, is to send her name & your story to the email Mom’s group so she can’t do the same to anyone else. if it’s possible to get her off the list, I’d pursue that too. Integrity within your email group is critical when sharing personal stories etc. good luck!!