A friend related a story about how she was trying to encourage her three year old daughter to toughen up and walk the few blocks between their house and her brother’s preschool pick up. Used to being carried, the daughter pitched a fit in the middle of the street. “I can’t walk! My legs hurt. I need you to carry me.”
My friend’s polite insistence that they would walk only deepened her daughter’s resolve. Soon the whines gave way to full pitch screams about her legs hurting. While my friend was comfortable letting her daughter scream her protest, knowing that she would ultimately settle down and agree to walk, many passersby threw her looks to kill for being a “torture momma” and exposing her child to mild discomfort.
Are we torture mommas for pushing our kids a little beyond their comfort level? Some, like an over-protective grandparent, might argue yes and demand you “leave that poor child alone.” Others may counter that kids need a little push to master new skills like reading, skiing, swimming, riding a bike or even walking. And discomfort is a fact of life and not something we should aspire to shield our children from.
But then there are those dirty looks. The ones that cut right through you and make you deeply uncomfortable. Perhaps they make you second guess your choices. Am I a torture momma? Could I be pushing them too hard? Should I just cave and let my kid quit? What kind of lesson am I teaching them then?
Has this ever happened to you? What do you think?
One Comment
presently I am staying with My in laws for the summer before My husband starts Medical school. my sister in law also lives with us at the moment as she is recovering from Lupus. My mother and sister in law are very cautious and paranoid people who want to protect a child from everything and I want to teach my little girl to be tough and fearless I play as rough with my one year old as I would with any boy I may eventually have I bounce (soft)” balls off her head and let her climb on just about anything within reason I ignore her when she falls and if I accidentally startle or scare her I find it funny the other two women of the house are appalled at my reckless behavior maybe they think I’m young and careless (24) but I’ve really thought about how I want to parent and it is not making my child turn to me with every little whimper and fall I want and independent and interdependent child well as much as a toddler can anyhow I really don’t’ think I’m pushing to hard but my daughter is getting a lot of mixed signals while we are living here and I think it actually pushes me to want to be stricter to counter their gasps any time she trips or anytime I let her just though a fit until she is ready to tell/show me what she want’s in a nice way since we have been here for 2 week she has become a screaming queen which leads me to believe my way is better because she never did that at home I will be glad when the summer is over!