Beth had a friend over for a play date and the kids were having a great time running around in the backyard. When it was time to go, the moms called them inside. The friend’s child, clearly still excited from running around outdoors starting running through Beth’s house yelling loudly. Beth, a relaxed mother of three active boys, didn’t think twice about the behavior, but her friend was mortified. “He has never acted way this before,” she said to Beth in an accusatory tone, as if rambunctious behavior was contagious and he caught it from Beth’s children.
Beth’s friend is not the first mom to blame another parent for behavior they don’t like in their child. Our friend Sarah recalled going to the circus with another family. “The moment we walked in the door, the other dad bought his kids cotton candy. So of course now my kids were whining that they wanted cotton candy and I didn’t really want to buy it for them,” Sarah said. We totally understand Sarah’s frustration. It’s no fun to explain why your child can’t have whatever food, toy, privilege, fill in the blank, that their friend has. So we blame the other parent. If they hadn’t allowed their child whatever privilidge, your child wouldn’t want it as well. Maybe, or maybe not.
It’s easy to blame, but perhaps blaming the other parent helps justify our frustration. We certainly can still hold our ground with our kids. Yes, they may be throwing a fit and yes maybe it could have been avoided, but is that really someone else’s fault? The parental blame game is kind of like road rage – we can fume all we want at other drivers, but it’s not going to help us get to our destination any faster.
What do you think? Have you ever blamed another parent for influencing bad behavior in your kids? What was the situation? What was the outcome?
The Blame Game
Beth had a friend over for a play date and the kids were having a great time running around in the backyard. When it was time to go, the moms called them inside. The friend’s child, clearly still excited from running around outdoors starting running through Beth’s house yelling loudly. Beth, a relaxed mother of three active boys, didn’t think twice about the behavior, but her friend was mortified. “He has never acted way this before,” she said to Beth in an accusatory tone, as if rambunctious behavior was contagious and he caught it from Beth’s children.
It’s easy to blame, but perhaps blaming the other parent helps justify our frustration. We certainly can still hold our ground with our kids. Yes, they may be throwing a fit and yes maybe it could have been avoided, but is that really someone else’s fault? The parental blame game is kind of like road rage – we can fume all we want at other drivers, but it’s not going to help us get to our destination any faster.
What do you think? Have you ever blamed another parent for influencing bad behavior in your kids? What was the situation? What was the outcome?