I would probably say my piece and then let the friendship break because I wouldn’t want to be hanging out with someone that would abuse their kids.

If it were minor, I would just say what I saw and ask a few questions about it vs. make an all around assessment. They may have reasons for doing things differently than I do. Not really my place to judge.

What struck me about the woman commenting about the developmental delays of the child is the sheer arrogance. No one can assume they know what causes kids to develop at different rates and in different ways. If this person was specific about just one thing, then sure. The child can go in to see a doctor. And, it is probably a bonus that a friend can pin point something that needs to be looked at.

On the other hand, making an all around assessment of a child and saying there is “something horrible wrong” seems stupid really. That would annoy me (especially if I felt my child was doing fine). I probably wouldn’t quit my friend cold turkey if it happened to me but I would let them know how I felt and try to talk about it.

I think you do have to be open to feedback and criticism to some degree. Defensiveness just closes you down and you can’t learn anything new that way. We all start off as novices in this profession called parenting. I still have a lot to learn and I try to master new skills as often as my children grow out of my old skills. Just getting defensive about feedback from your pal that is less than flattering just means you need to put your fracking ego aside and think about it for a few minutes. You do this for the sake of your kids as much as anything else.

People today feel that everything is about them, that conversation is about Kyle and his needs.

Why? Because, as a best friend, dispensing child rearing advice is not in your fucking job description! That is not what you’ve been hired for! Your job is to make sure your friend feels good about herself. Your job is to make her feel like she is not alone. How is that accomplished by slicing your friend’s maternal Achilles’ heal? Christ! Why don’t you just say, ‘And about that thigh cellulite you have been so sensitive about all these years. I have noticed it, everyone can see it and, yes, that is why your husband no longer wants to have sex with you.’ Would you later wonder why your friend no longer wished to speak to you? I suppose one could justify one’s actions under the umbrella of, “I just wanted to help my friend,“ but, really? Did Jessica really want to help Mindy? Or was she just so pissed off at witnessing such a deplorable lack of common sense child rearing that she couldn’t keep her big mouth shut.

If you are skilled, and ONLY is your friend asks, you might be able to get away with a nugget of advice, but you have to be willing to throw your own children under the bus to do so. “Oh, I know. My Johnny used to stay up all night too! But then I had this neighbor who told me to replace soda with water! I don’t know if it would work for you, but I think it’s helping Johnny! Although he still sucks and I want to kill him.” As for your Johnny, who is sound asleep by nine, he doesn’t have to know.

In short, Mindy has every right to cry a river a tears. After all, she has just discovered that her secure, life time investment can not weather every storm. A true friend would have known better.