We all love our friends and want to be there for them. Sometimes this can take the form of feeling it is our duty to tell them if we observe concerning behavior in their child – like walking on tip toes, or avoiding eye contact or lack of impulse control.
We somehow fear that they have missed this key developmental delay and that they are their child are suffering as a result. We want to do the right thing. If we were in their place we would want to know, right? Wrong!
Unless you are a doctor or trained professional, you are treading on very thin ice here. For one thing, a lot of kids with quirky behavior grow up to be perfectly healthy, contributing members of society. For another, unless she is living in a cave, the parent has probably already noticed the quirky behavior and may have already checked it out with a pediatrician or other specialist. Finally, no one takes kindly to the suggestion that you know more about their kid than they do, especially if the implication is that there is something wrong with their child.
So, as hard as it is to zip it when you really just want to help, Try hard. Or try to steer them to a trained professional who can deliver the blow. People really do want to kill the messenger of bad news. Better they fume as some “stupid doctor” than at you.
Have you ever tried to give a friend this kind of advice? How did you do it and how did it go?
Diagnosing Developmental Delays in Other People’s Children
We all love our friends and want to be there for them. Sometimes this can take the form of feeling it is our duty to tell them if we observe concerning behavior in their child – like walking on tip toes, or avoiding eye contact or lack of impulse control.
Unless you are a doctor or trained professional, you are treading on very thin ice here. For one thing, a lot of kids with quirky behavior grow up to be perfectly healthy, contributing members of society. For another, unless she is living in a cave, the parent has probably already noticed the quirky behavior and may have already checked it out with a pediatrician or other specialist. Finally, no one takes kindly to the suggestion that you know more about their kid than they do, especially if the implication is that there is something wrong with their child.
So, as hard as it is to zip it when you really just want to help, Try hard. Or try to steer them to a trained professional who can deliver the blow. People really do want to kill the messenger of bad news. Better they fume as some “stupid doctor” than at you.
Have you ever tried to give a friend this kind of advice? How did you do it and how did it go?