“We are far lonelier that most of us even realize,” a source explained to me during an interview. At first blush, I couldn’t imagine that this observation applied to me. Afterall, I am so busy and I spend my day talking to other moms – at preschool and kindergarten drop off and pick up, running errands, at the gym, at the park, during t-ball games.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that exchanging pleasantries does not really make for close connections. Maybe the busyness of modern parenting life has left little space for deep connection. We facebook, twitter, email and text our friends. But with all the cute exchanges in 140 characters or less are we really connecting? And do we really want to share our deepest feelings with our entire facebook audience?
I also wonder if the busyness isn’t a consequence of the loneliness. Do we overschedule ourselves and our children from dawn to dusk so we won’t have time to sit in our loneliness and realize how isolated we feel. For many of us, this isolation started with parenting. It’s no secret that it’s hard to leave the house, talk on the phone or have a focused conversation with another adult with little kids. If you have a spirited child and feel any embarrassment at not “being able to control them” you might pull back even more.
Suddenly, you look at your life – healthy, happy kids, good marriage, lots of kind people to spend time with, but the deep connections that you had with other women may not be as strong. You may envy your younger self for all the time and energy you had to dedicate to yourself, your friends, your ideas, your feelings. You may wake up one day and realize that your happily ever after has left you far lonelier than you even realized.
Are most of us lonelier than we realize?
“We are far lonelier that most of us even realize,” a source explained to me during an interview. At first blush, I couldn’t imagine that this observation applied to me. Afterall, I am so busy and I spend my day talking to other moms – at preschool and kindergarten drop off and pick up, running errands, at the gym, at the park, during t-ball games.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that exchanging pleasantries does not really make for close connections. Maybe the busyness of modern parenting life has left little space for deep connection. We facebook, twitter, email and text our friends. But with all the cute exchanges in 140 characters or less are we really connecting? And do we really want to share our deepest feelings with our entire facebook audience?
I also wonder if the busyness isn’t a consequence of the loneliness. Do we overschedule ourselves and our children from dawn to dusk so we won’t have time to sit in our loneliness and realize how isolated we feel. For many of us, this isolation started with parenting. It’s no secret that it’s hard to leave the house, talk on the phone or have a focused conversation with another adult with little kids. If you have a spirited child and feel any embarrassment at not “being able to control them” you might pull back even more.
Suddenly, you look at your life – healthy, happy kids, good marriage, lots of kind people to spend time with, but the deep connections that you had with other women may not be as strong. You may envy your younger self for all the time and energy you had to dedicate to yourself, your friends, your ideas, your feelings. You may wake up one day and realize that your happily ever after has left you far lonelier than you even realized.