I’ll admit it, curse words do fall out of my mouth on occasion. But I’m pretty strict about not cursing around my kids, or anyone ele’s. Bad words seem to be all the rage in third grade, and my son comes home to report what he’s overheard on the bus, or what so-and-so wrote on the back of her math homework. So recently we had a chat about what I call Level 1 and Level 2 curse words.
I explained to him that Level 1 words are those he might hear in a movie or TV show (even those that are made for kids, which are stuffed with inappropriate and adult humor…but I digress), in a pop song, or a comment by an angry/frustrated/sleep-deprived/generally grumpy adult. Most Level 1 words have double meanings. For example, hell is not only a fiery place below the depths of the earth, but is a lovely little expletive that is used in exasperation or anger, or revenge as sung by the All-American Rejects.
Level 2 curse words are those that he shouldn’t really hear very often, nor should he care to use them until he’s old enough to vote or shave, whichever comes first.
But the reality is, you can teach your kids your own family values, but you can’t control what they are exposed to when you aren’t around. And you certainly can’t control what crap (oops) comes out of other parents’ mouths in front of your kids.
Or can you?
My friend Maureen has a mouth like a truck driver and has no problem dropping f-bombs and other assorted four-letter beauties in front of her kids (who are all three under 8 years old) and mine. Can I say to her while pointing to the kids, “Maureen, would you please put a lid on your trash mouth?” Maybe it depends on how close our relationship is? Sometimes I think the closer the friend, the harder it is to have those kinds of honest talks about parenting issues that bother you, because you have so much invested in your relationship and you don’t want to cause any rifts. On the other hand, if you can’t have a genuine talk with a good friend, are you really friends at all?
I think I can only share sidelong glances with my kids who are visibly shocked to hear Level 2 words come out of a mommy’s mouth, and then we can talk about it later, out of context.
What do you think? Have you ever asked a mom to hold her tongue? Is it okay to do that?
One Comment
that is a tricky one my SIL uses the F word all the time she says she doesn’t say it around the kids but it is just so common she doesn’t even know when she slips but I do know she is making an effort on FB someone said they had to pay 10 bucks in the home for cursing I think if you let your kids know while they are under your rule there are consequences money or otherwise for bad language personally I don’t mind cursing I mind vulgarity I think if we talk to our children about what we expect form them then it will be easier to keep them from using naughty words for shock value this is just a theory mind you my daughter is a little over 1 any how good luck with that situation I think your example will ultimately be the one that stick in the long run.